Pathetic Beings - A Study

Pardon the sudden disappearance of the Moose. What with work and all, finding the time to write on yet another platform really seems impossible if not painful. But then, I realise that heyy, half the shit I write is related to what I despise/hate/loathe. Take your pick.
And it would be so totally wrong of me to just provide no form of recognition whatsoever to these things I dislike so much, now wouldn't it?
With that being said, I now present you my latest topic of hatred - The Human Race.


Before I begin this passionate piece of work, let me say this, dissing the entire Human Race would be stupid, for indeed there exist people who actually are decent, possess the ability to think rationally and well, don't act like complete ignorant asses.
HOWEVER, these are only a minority, and the streets of Malaysia (and globally) are unfortunately flooded with mindless, incompetent droids.

For the past month or so, I've met some really strange people and being me, I do not shy away from speaking my mind.



SIMON SAYS...
First you have the predictable bunch of retards...
These people stand there, totally influenced by the media and have no personal opinion and having their own stand is something unthinkable if not taboo. They, (just like a flock of sheep following its shepherd) follow what society deems right and just by taking a look around you (yes, right now. Go on, look around you), you would almost surely find a few. What are they listening to? Oh, those very same songs the radio repeats 167693513 times a day? That's just one of many symptoms these "breed" of people have. The next, slightly more complex trait would be their reaction to any given situation... Or their response for that matter.
Ask them what they think about MJ's death? Be prepared for the very same response nearly everyone on your Facebook account used as their personal status.
Give them a magazine, watch as they skim through and almost immediately head for articles on celebrities, parties or the latest fashion. To them, knowledge on these is far more vital than reading anything that interests THEMSELVES. They need to know what other people find interesting, they need to like what others like, they need to be what others are. In the end, wave goodbye to individualism and give a warm, disgusted welcome to yet another mindless, predictable pansy. I'm not complaining however, cause they are so easily manipulated. You can read their next moves, you know how they will react and with that knowledge in hand, *tadaa* you are now the proud owner of your very own droid.


And then we have the UN-ORIGINALS..
Somewhat similar to the followers of "Simon Says..." these people have no personal characteristics. They're merely a mimicry of people they see (in real life or in the big screen) of which they label as "acceptable" in society. They rehearse jokes they either get from movies, the latest stand-up they stood up all night watching, or from another friend. Then, they go around repeating the joke, taking the credit for it and that in turn, (strangely) gives them a great sense of accomplishment. Half the things they say aren't anything they themselves come up with. They do not dress, talk, walk or act in a way they are comfortable with. Oh no, they consider doing that unacceptable and feel that by being themselves, they risk being social outcasts. Some speak with an accent (I'm sure you know of a few), some get tattoos (or in the case of girls, they get tramp stamps) that carry no personal message at all. They're just doing it cause "Hey, everyone else is doing it. I need... I MUST blend in." Little do they know, that the simple act of being themselves would get them real results.

The next bunch are rather scary... I'm gonna call them the INSECURE ONES.
Oh, where do I even begin? I'll start with the nerds. You sometimes see them in your class (if you're still in college), sitting right in front, hands raised at every question the lecturer shoots, and are usually the top-scoring students. Reputable indeed, but when they're smart YET insecure, that's when you hear of bully cases happening. You see, to these fellas sharing knowledge, helping other "not-so-book-smart" students or simply socializing with people who do not score straight A's would bring great shame to them and what they stand for. (which is usually close to nothing) Instead, they tend to stick to their own little posse, sharing notes and information among themselves, conveniently forgetting to inform their classmates about that stupid replacement class on Saturday or that assignment that was due last week. They just feel that they are of a higher social status and the very thought of being associated with the "others" is pointless. Crazy, even. And for you working bunch, you get these kind of people too. Almost similar to college nerds, these fellas try to sabotage your career, try to spread rumors or may act all friendly at first, but with not-so-noble intentions at heart. The reason may be 'cause you scare the living shit out of them and they know you will eventually go further than them, so before this happens, they do their very best to dishearten you and try to unethically rid of any competition. Regardless of it being healthy competition or not. Instead of bowing down and wanting to learn from people who are better than them, their ego gets dramatically challenged and this "I'm the shit" mentality takes over, leading to their own downfall eventually. Now that we've covered those, let's move on to insecure girls.
You usually find these ones posting a shit load of self-pics (or in a more politically correct term - camwhore pics) from every possible angle, color, effect, clothing, facial expression and location to eventually find that one or two (Okay, fine. Maybe 3) pictures in which they get the most comments saying "U look good bebz! ;)" followed by a little "whore-celebration-dance" cause someone actually checked them out. When a chance like this does not arise, they resort to other means of attention seeking, may it be intolerable levels of flirting, fishing for compliments or the most common case, cheating. It may be with an ex, a guy who "is only a close friend" and all that. Ah, what a load of crap. We all know these people are stored there for a reason. When that little pimple pops up, or all that gobbling of Mc Donalds takes its toll and a few extra pounds come visit, the insecurity strikes back. The solution? Attention from other guys which would feed their pitiful low self-esteem and put the fake impression that they actually "still got game" and found to be desirable by others. Good Lord, you see how dependant they are on others to feel secure and confident? That's the insecure ones for you.


Next, comes my favorite breed to abuse... the BLONDES.
Words fail me at describing just how annoying these ones are. Sure, you have some not-so-bright people around, that's acceptable and all that. BUT!!! When these exact same ones attempt (and fail miserably) at sounding/acting smart, that's when they should be shown no mercy. At all! They may sound full of confidence, have this "I'm-so-right" tone of voice but what comes out of their mouths totally begs to differ. My favorite solution is to just shoot 'em down and make them realize how truly stupid they are. It's simple. This breed needs no further elaboration. (Or maybe I'm just saying that cause this had turned up to be one LOOONG ass post and I probably lost your attention at the third paragraph.)


Up next, a little mixture of the UNORIGINALS and INSECURE ONES... the FAKES!
At this point of your life, you should already be able to differentiate your TRUE friends and those who simply want to use you to fulfill their own selfish needs. They may smile, act all cheerful infront of you, yet sooner or later you find out this very same person you shared your Kit Kat with is bitching 'bout you behind your back. Yes, gutless I know. They all are. But it is who they are, and there is no helping it. What you need to do, is pinpoint these ones, and give them a dose of their own medicine. Play along to their little scheme (oh yes, they think you know nothing of it) and when the opportunity arises... WHAM! Verbally, physically, virtually (it's your choice. I tend to go with all three) assault them. Being used results in abuse. I belive in the mirror theory - do to others 50 fuckin' times worse as to what they have done to you. Mercy shouldn't even exist in your dictionary when it comes to the Fakes. A sneaky bunch indeed, hard to catch in short periods of time BUT once they give a hint of fakeness, you'll appreciate vengeance more than ever.

And lastly, you have...
THE KIDS
For some weird reason, probably due to nuclear waste, people in the bodies of 'adults' have sickeningly child-like behavior too. Despite having a stable income, owning their own car or hey, maybe even a house... Their mind is frozen at the mindset of a 15 year old.
They have the dumbest conversations, come up with the lamest jokes, get uptight over the smallest things and are commonly pretentious. Getting on their nerve does not prove to be a challenge, so you should use this to your full advantage.

AND THEN WE HAVE THE JEWS!

YOU can do your part in curbing this problem of inferior beings by:

i.) Telling them off in the most sarcastic way possible. (my personal choice of mentally torturing them) Just be brutally honest and voice out what other 'nice' people consider being too "mean" and "heartless". It may be their only chance at realizing who/what they are and by some strange miracle... change.

ii.) Come up with a pop/R&B song (they tend to favor these genres of music) so annoying, their puny brains melt. Then again, aren't they all already annoying?

iii.) Get a friend of yours with STDs (I personally would laugh my ass off at my friend if he DID have STDs,, Captain Herpes! aHAHAaha. Sabertooth crotch crickets! Ahaha! Cough..) to sleep with one of the INSECURE ones. Doing so will unleash a slew of sexually transmitted diseases (if you paid attention, you'll know INSECURE ones sleep around) and they'll all eventually perish. OR you could also present these hoes with a Scout Cap and a picture of you tea-bagging her sister. Why a Scout Cap you ask? The very same reason polar bears wear sunglasses in Coke ads. That's why.


iv.) Tell these people that an Akon concert is taking place, then rent a tank and run over all of them (including Akon) once they're at the concert singing along to.... How am I supposed to know his songs? You frickin' crazy?

I certainly hope this post made up for the Moose's one month of absence. As long as there's something to hate, I shall continue posting and before I end the post, I present to you, my non-existent readers, a poem...

Roses are blue,
Violets are red,
Fuck all those people above,
If you're one, then fuck you too.
I mean seriously, they're a bunch of retards.

Share your success stories with destroying these morons, voice out your opinion on these people or simply present me with your illogical arguments and pointing out of my grammatical mistakes.

With much hate,
- Moose -