I know what I want this Christmas...

Here I am, digesting my roasted pork and rice meal, and I stumble upon something that just made my stomach rumble in hunger.

We are all aware of my passion for Pork, Beer and Pork.

Now, I've travelled the land far and wide, searching for the best Pork dishes around. I've discovered some awesome places, and one more I pledge to visit is "Kristang". As the name suggests, it's a Portuguese restaurant/pub which has amazing pork burgers (so other pork lovers say) with bacon and whatnot in it.

But today, I realize that my appetite for pork can only be fulfilled by one and only one type of pig... the giant Feral pig.




In the words of our departed Steve Irwin... "Crikey! Would you look at the size on that one!?"


In the words of our beloved Fat Bastard... "I want my baby back, baby back, baby back riiiibsss!"

In the words of.... Ah, to Hell with it. No one can describe the beauty of this pig. It could last me a whole 3 days!

Ack... Billy Bob the Hillbilly beat me to it. Never even offered to share, that cunt. Now, I am gonna make sure that one day before my passing, I WILL EAT JOO DAMN FAT PIG!!

Oh, by the way, the pig in the picture above was spotted eating a dead cow...

"The source said the 220kg beast was eating a cow when it was first seen by workers mustering cattle in a helicopter." (News.au)

While we're on the topic of porky fantasies (soon to be reality!), here's another pig I'd wanna eat.

Oh wait... you know what? Here's a better idea, I'd force Porky Pig (I think he'd do it voluntarily though) to mate with Ms. Piggy (from the Muppet show... for you cave dwellers) in a movie.. Maybe a movie like "Plump Fiction".. let them have little piglets.... and THEN I eat them... And then I decide to eat Porky Pig too... and all of a sudden, I start screaming "As they say, there's no better pig than one with a wig" and I gobble Miss Piggy up (while listening to March of the Pigs on my iPod). But not after duelling with her ex husband, Kermit. So, I end up killing Kermit too and since I don't eat frogs, I donate his remains to a Chinese Restaurant. In return for my kindness, Madam Su Lee gives me more pork and the Humper lives happily ever after. What an ending.

Ack! Must have Porkkk!