Tues, 31 July, 2007, Puchong:- Loyal non-existent Humpathon readers may have been wondering upon Fluffy's sudden disappearance from the blogging world. The cause was just recently revealed by Fluffy himself during an interview session today. The reason was none other than an evil wart which decided to take residence beneath Fluffy's dead toe. Fluffy firmly believes that that toe is indeed cursed and has probably been a bad, bad toe in its past life.
"It brings me great pleasure to announce that my wart, will be falling off very very soon. I had it since my trip back to Penang, and i blame it on my Grandma's cooking. Due to this wretched wart, I have not been able to resume my blogging sessions. Yes, if you must know, I type with my toes. For those of you who haven't found out yet, I, Fluffy, have a dead toe. And under this very same dead toe, grew a wart. It caused me much pain and psychological trauma which I can only refer to as 'Psychological Rape' over the past month. However, thanks to Duofilm, the wart is now making its departure," said Fluffy earlier today.
Advertisement: DUOFILM! FOR THE TREATMENT OF WARTS, CORNS AND CALLUSES! GET YOUR WART TODAY, THEN USE OUR PRODUCT THE NEXT DAY!
For those of you who are interested in purchasing Fluffy's soon-to-be-fallen wart, place your reservations today! Call 1800-I want Fluffy's Wart or e-mail us at humpingwart@wartsthathump.com
Payment can be done by credit card or massive amounts of Famous Amos cookies.
Yes, yes, tis the month of July. College has begun for the "juniors". I still got 3 weeks worth of hols! hah! Aw who am i kiddin? I'll be in college most of the time anyway...
Anyhoo, back to the purpose of this post.
I hereby announce the top 3 most annoying songs of this month!
* drum roll *
- NUMBER THREE -
Song: Makes Me Wonder
Artist: Maroon 5
Bottom line: With a faggoty name like Adam Levine, how can you NOT expect their songs to sound gay? Makes me wonder makes ME wonder why would they even come up with a song like this one!? It's being played over and over again on the radio, and my advice would to change teh Gawd damn station IMMEDIATELY upon hearing it.
Verdict: Gay ppl listen to Maroon 5.
Gay on Maroon 5: "A few months ago I bought the CD wishing to hear “Harder to Breathe with the Penis in my mouth”, but when I arrived at the fourth track, “HE will be loved”, I couldn’t breathe and started jumping up and down a godzillion times because of excitement and who could forget their single “Makes Me Wonder (If I Am Gay")!?? Ever since that faithful moment, not a day has gone by in which I have not listened and shivered each time I hear Maroon 5. So, needless to say, I strongly recommend their CDs with all my heart (and any other part of my body). Thank you Maroon 5! You rock!"
- NUMBER TWO -
Song: Umbrella
Artist: Rihanna
Bottom line: umbrella ella ella eh eh eh!!!! OMFG!!! Upon hearing this song, i bet people wished they were deaf or wished for Rihanna's sudden and mysterious death and departure from the music scene. It's incredibly annoying and God, it gets stuck in everyone's head and makes everyone say "let me die please"
Verdict: Ella ella ella eh eh eh... ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
- NUMBER ONE - and the most annoying song of July goes to....
Song: Girlfriend
Artist: Avril Lavigne (Note: The resemblance of this GIRL'S name to the lead singer of Maroon 5)
Bottom line: From a punk rocker SK8RGRL yadaa yadaa chick to a typical dumb stereotypical blonde bimbo. Avril sure has gone a long way. With this song's "deep" lyrical content... she must feel so proud. I mean... lyrics like:
Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your girlfriend! No way No way! I think you need a new one Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be your girlfriend... etc etc
Would you look at the depth and meaningfulness of that song!? Brilliant!
And now just for you fans out there, they even have a Japanese version! Woooot!!!
Amresh to Avril, Adam and Rihanna: (yes, say it along with me now...) I KEEL JOO!!!
Original Song: 4 Non Blondes - "Hey!What's Going On?"
Parody: Syncronos - "Hey!Who Moved My Bong!?"
25 years of my life and still
I'm trying to get off that great
big hill of dope
for an occupation
I realized quickly when I'm really pissed
that the cops are all saying that cannabis is banned
...or whatever that means
And so I try sometimes
when my eyes are all red,
just to get it all out what's in my head
then I...
I am feeling a little peculiar
And when I wake in the morning and my brain is fried
and I take deep breath, but I don't get high
then I scream from the top of my lungs
"Who moved my bong!?"
and I say hey... hey...
I say hey, Who moved my bong?!
and I say hey... hey...
I said hey, Who moved my bong!?
Oh, oooh...
Oh, oooh...
and I buy, man oh man do I buy
I buy all the time
For my favorite stoners
and I pay, man oh man do I
pay
I pay every single day
for the damn freeloaders!
And so I try sometimes
when my eyes are all red,
just to get it all out what's in my head
then I...
I am feeling a little peculiar
And when I wake in the morning and my brain is fried
and I take deep breath, but I don't get high
then I scream from the top of my lungs
"Who moved my bong!?"
and I say hey... hey...
I say hey, Who moved my bong?!
and I say hey... hey...
I said hey, Who moved my bong!?
and I say hey... hey...
I say hey, Who moved my bong?!
and I say hey... hey...
I said hey, Who moved my bong!?
Oh, oooh, oooh...
25 years of my life and still
I'm trying to get off that great
big hill of dope...
wait, I can't remember...
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