The Case of the Handphones

Since the invention of the phone by Alber... I mean Alexander Graham Bell, men have been miraculously been able to communicate with people further than their front door. Way, way further. Not, not across the road you twit. Across oceans, to other countries even!
Yes... The normal phone soon evolved into cordless phones, then came hand phones and then evil was created via Nokia, Sony Ericsson, Samsung, LG who suck your money dry by adding video, camera, internet and other functions to mobile phones, using advertisements of "cool" and "hip" teenagers wearing 3 layers of clothing (although they're in Malaysia, under the hot stinkin sun, and come to think of it, why do none of those kids look Malaysian? Oh, right. The "eurasian" look sells.. but back to where we suddenly drifted off..)
Ah, I should stop that. Long sentences tend to make me forget what I was saying. My point is, now phones are more of a trend than a neccesity.
Some of us have learnt to accept this technologically advanced invention, and understand its functions... You know, like being able to talk to friends/family who are far, far away...
HOWEVER, there exists a bunch of people who simply cannot digest the fact that people far away, can actually hear you through this rectangular wonder that is the mobile phone. (Yes yes fine..or PDAs, iPhones... you brats)
These confused hobbits have the tendency to shout... and I mean... really... yell into their phones. It's either that or they want everyone to hear about this "cool" weekend they have planned ahead which 'surprise, surprise' involves alcohol and clubbing at the most "happening" club in _________. (Enter location, cause this shit happens everywhere. Except in Ipoh.. they don't have clubs there. They party in Caves)
Now, I was baffled. Don't these people realize that they sound completely bonkers screaming "HUH!? PETER DID WHA...!? I ALWAYS KNEW HE PERVERT "WOR".. AHAHAH! YAH LA YAH LA! YAM CHAAA AHH? OKIE SET BRUDERRRR! AH I ON THE WAY I ON THE WAY!"

If YOU happen to be one of those turds mentioned above, how bout you try this... The next time you're on the phone, in the middle of your shouting match, whisper this:
"and you're a cock sucker..."
E.g "HUH!? PETER DID WHA...!? I ALWAYS KNEW HE PERVERT "WOR".. and you're a cock sucker...AHAHAH! YAH LA YAH LA! YAM CHAAA AHH? OKIE SET BRUDERRRR! AH I ON THE WAY I ON THE WAY!"
If the person on the other line goes "What fuck you bastard guy!?" It proves that you do NOT need to yell into that blinking phone and scare the living shit out of a guy while he's trying to get into the pants of a hot girl...

Shit Song: January

As usual, the stinkin radios just like most clubs play songs that are detrimental to society AND repeat em' over and over again...

What makes it suck even more is when the songs make no sense.
Let's take a recap on songs that fall under the "What-the-flippin-Eff-does-this-mean" category...

1.) Control Myself - El Loser Uncool Jackshit
The part that hits everyone's nerves: "Zezeze zezeze zezezeze"
El Loser proudly displays his dysfunctional linguistic skills here by sayin stuff that makes no sense what-so-ever... and his groupies swallow it all in and start "reporting to the dance floor.." as he instructs.

2.) Right thurr - Clingy Chingy
The part that hits everyone's nerves: "I like the way you do that right thurr... Swing your hips when you're walkin, let down your hurr..."
Is he that incapable of rhyming words that he resorts to creating his own mortifying "words"

And for the most recent grammatically incorrect song of the month...

3.) Floor Sweeper - In the Ayer...
Firstly, let's give him a huge applaud for coming up with such a unique name. Flo Rida. I bet no one would guess that he originates from Florida. (cause his name does not in any way give it away) Well, with a name like Tramar Dillard... why wouldn't he opt for another cooler, more "ghetto" name... Heck, I was even planning to rename myself to Pee Nang. (hey, what a coinsidence... I'm from Penang, you just minus one "E" and...)
Yesh back to the song...
The part that hits everyone's nerves: "... Make me throw my hands. In the ayer..ay-ayer..ayer..ay-... Party all night like yayer..yayer.."

I can't think.. I DON"T wanna think of more songs rather...
So, congrats to Flo Rida from Flo Rida for his truly inspirational song with deep lyrical content.. It made it as the top shittiest song for the new year.