Pain Apples

Many things on God's Green Earth, even words can't describe. Food, for instance! Hmm, naw come to think of it, you actually can describe food.... shucks. I just wanted to sound smart..
Where was I? Ah yes, food. I'm a fooda-holic. I eat, and eat, and eat.... and eat more. One of my fav victims of my hunger is none other than Pizza! Be it Dominoes, Pizza Hutt or Canadian Pizza (didn't mention other branches for obvious reasons), Pizza is plain yummeh!That topping, with chunks of chicken, green pepper, onions... tomato paste.. okay, brb, imma grab smth to eat.

* back *

Ah yeah, so imagine biting into that slice of pizza. Sinking your teeth into it... enjoying the fusion of tastes that explode in your mouth... UNTIL A STUPID UNINVITED YELLOW SQUISHY THINGY jumps in too!
Yesh, this forsaken yellow fruit is none other than a stinkin pineapple!



You see, the pizza was fine without 'em. But some wise ass had to come up with what they call the "Aloha" Pizza... which simply refers to a pizza which is filled with nothing but pineapple. Boiled, squishy, sweet, sickly yellow pineapple... Let's be rational... why add pineapples? Pizza is fine without fruits making an appearance on top of it. What next? Peas on pizzas? Raisins? Eeew, omg the very thought of it.

Even Arnold agrees with me on this one. Arnold on pizza: "If you want something krazy like pineapple, I KILL YOU!"

So, the next time you're ordering pizza, tell the school-drop out dude on the line: "No pineapples please! Tak mau nanas!No pls!" And if he comes with a pizza with an EXTRA topping of pineapples, just throw it in his face.
Aloha Pizzas are not even really pizzas anyway. Pizzas are not made to have fruits laid on them!!!

Other valid reasons to despise pineapples:

1.) They are often used as capital punishment instruments. The guy sentenced on deathrow will be blindfolded, then left standing naked tied to a pole. The janitors will then all have 5 shots each at him using pineapples... Ouch.

2.) You wouldn't wanna eat Spongebob's house now, would you? WOULD YOU!?

3.) Pineapples are made up of Pine Trees and Apples... Save the trees! Don't eat pineapples.

4.) Do you find pineapple flavoured Shisha? No, you don't. Shuddup

5.) It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Pineapple.



Amresh to Pineapple: "I keel joo!"

I'm positive that with all the facts provided above, you will make the right choice and join the "Punch Pineapples Please Posse" or widely known as the 4P.
Call 1-800-Pineapples?-Phooey! or visit your nearest pizza outlet and empty the tray containing pineapples. (Instant membership for these people)

May the hatred for pineapples be with you.


The only thing that pineapples look good on