the truth is in here

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The Death of Elmo

It brings me great pleasure to announce that in response to my post on how much I hate Elmo, readers from all over have joined my club. (For those of you who haven't read it, look for Murder Me Elmo under "Humped") Here is one video which I found. Brought a HUGE grin to my face.

Wasn't that just magical? :)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Fury

When watching movies in cinemas, one of the things I look forward to besides the movie, is the Malay translation of the movie title. For "Fury", the translation was Garang... and further below, were the words "Chocolate".. I was like "What the eff!? Is the movie bout some furious chocolate bar or smth?" I later did some reading and found out that was the alternative title of the movie. Why? I'm guessing cause the girl in the movie really likes chocs... No, seriously.Anyway Fury, a Thai movie about this young Thai+Jap girl who is acoustic... I mean autistic, and has the ability to mimic anything she sees on TV and in real life. (and is totally freaked out by flies. Yep, she screams and goes all beserk at the sight of a fly... Hey.. pretty much how I act at the sight of a centipede) Her mother (played by Ammara Siripong... hahaha! Imma Sirry bong.. No? okie..) was once a (hot) member of some Thai triad group, and her dad (played by Hiroshi Abe) is a Yakuza member. Cool parents, I'll say. So, the lil girl who's name is Zen (played by Yanin Vismitananda... damn Thai names take up so much space) with her ability to mimic martial arts moves, picks up a thing or two by watching topless, muscular men practice kick-boxing outside her home... Jeez. Kids these days! Oh, since the director of this movie also directed the kick-ass movies Ong Bak and Tom Yam Sedap, it's no surprise Zen also watched Ong Bak and learnt some moves from Tony Jaa.
Anyway back to the plot, Zen's mama, Zin... (Yep, not very creative with naming the characters eh?) got into big trouble for falling for a member of the Yakuza, so the Thai triad group she was with put out her torch, and she was voted off.
When they fo
und out she was still keepin in touch with her Sushi-boy, Masashi.. through mail! Wow, that dude being Japanese, one would expect him to give her some high-tech non traceable, phone+camera+sushi maker gadget... But nah, they used snail mail, and the Thai triad members, who consist mostly of trannies who have guns and muscles... (No longer will I mess with transvestites behind the allies) found out and paid Zin a visit. They said hie, had some tea, chopped off her toe and left.. the usual routined Thai tea-time visit. Oh, and threatened to take more drastic action if she continues sending more letters to Masashi. As luck would have it for Zen, her mum was also suffering from some medical condition.. she was getting real sick, losing her hair, and all her appeal to me. Zen decides with her fat, male comrade, Moom to earn some money to help pay for her mum's medical bills. They go from place to place, and Zen sits on a chair, while people throw multiple balls at her and watch her catch it effortlessly. I was hoping a Malaysian dude would come up and throw a Durian at her. (Catch that bish!) but it never happened... Dammit!
Then one day, while Moom was digging through Zin's underwear drawer, he finds a book in which sh
e keeps details of all the people who owe her money back from her gangstah days. He decides to approach them and ask for the payment with Zen, cause he's too fat and afraid to face them alone. So, he needs a girl.. A mentally unstable girl... Back to the story..
They go and
see people, bash the shit out of them, and get teh money. It was really cool cause the girl did all the stunts herself! Plus, her grim and blank expression while fighting made the fight scenes all the better.
Soon, news comes to the Thai triad leader and his bunch of trannies.. I mean... sophisticated, intelligent, strong.... very strong women.. men.. people. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!
Zen's mum finds out what has been going on, and calls.. no wait.. sends a mail to Masashi telling him on what's going on. If they were in Malaysia, Pos Laju would've probably got the letter delivered too late, and Zen, Zin and Moom would've already been chopped liver.
Masashi get's all pissy, sends ONE of his boys down to Thailand... he manages to kill about 4 trannies and then the main tranny shoots him.
Masashi decides that he should go down there himself... So back in Thailand, Moom, while on the way to get some pork buns, gets shot by the drag queen. I mean.. ah fuck it. YES, drag queen! tranny! you bloody cross dressing fugly filthy speciment of the lowest form! There! Come and get meh!
Where was I!?
Zin tries to negotiate with the Thai triad gang to let the fat ass Moom go (he didn't get killed by the bullet cause he's a fat tub of lard) and meets up with the leader. Zen follows along, and soon, mother and daughter and thrashing the place and killing people. It soon became a family reunion when the dad also came, and opened a can of Yakuza-whoop ass on everyone.
The Thai triad leader pissed in his pants, and introduced his own secret weapon, his very own retarded son! He can't walk straight, keeps having seizures but he fights... so it was Zen vs. Retarded boy in Adidas jumpsuit. This was one funny part, cause Zen mimics how El-Tardo fights, and soon kicks his ass back to Barney land.


After ALOT of chasing, Zen finally catches the Triad leader, and bashes the living crap out of him. The chase part was real interesting, as they were jumping from one building to another, balancing on shop signs... and I stress, it was all real. I mean, sure they used strings and whatnot, but they did get injured. Heck, one guy even broke his neck during the filming of the movie. Yeah, when the movie finishes, sit back for a bit and watch the Behind the Scenes part. I was awestruck. Yanin, who played Zen, is one Hell of a tough ass girl. She has cuts, bruises, glass in her palms... Really impressive.
Anyway, she gets the leader, kills him, and starts crying with her daddy over Zin's death. It was an overall, pretty good movie, I'd say. The fight scenes, though nothing compared to Ong Bak, was quite entertaining. And the young actress is really talented. Would be good if they came up with a movie featuring her alongside Tony Jaa. The story idea was good, and in the beginning it was said the movie wanted to inspire autistic children. Aww.. They get my vote here!

Best Part: The scene in which Zen goes to this butchery and fights the mob there.

Rating: 7.5/10

Note: Dear Thai trannies with guns and six packs... I was joking about what I said earlier. I have a dog to feed... spare me.... Cookie?


Saturday, October 4, 2008

Another lyrical mystery

I was recently listening to Bon Jovi's "I'll Be There For You"... and in the song he sings:

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you

Wait a minute... FIVE words? I always thought that "I'll" would count as two words. Doesn't it?
Bon Jovi would definitely flunk college man. He'd exceed the word limit without knowing it.

I'll be there for you
These SIX words I swear to you...

There, much better.
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