Hush Mush

Oooo boy has it been a while... Been busy... sue me.. Anyhoo was listening to the radio that day and I heard this song.. It's by Craig David teh Homo if I'm not mistaken.. "Key to my Heart"..

You see you've got the key to my heart,
girl Unlock me and take all my feelings apart bla blaaa

Got me thinking...

This right here is a heart...
And this is a key..

My question is... Where does the key go?! In the pulmonary artery? Just what are you blabbing about Craig? What's your next song gonna be?

You see you've got the visitor's pass to my kidneyssss baby please don't go to Sydneyyyy...

Top Three Poopy Songs (September)

Yesh, folks. Tis that time of the month where Fluffy humps a few songs which have annoyed the living moose outta him.
Oh, and joy... these just so happen to be the most OVER-PLAYED songs on Radio...

First off, we have that fat weird voiced kid, who sounds like has hasn't hit puberty and looks like an oversized chicken wing... he's 17.. and he's the "proud" singer of "Beautiful Girls"..
Yeah, this song is annoying as hell! Everywhere you go... malls, in teh car, ramly stalls... handphones... THEY KEEP PLAYING IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN!
Enough already! Or people just may go "suicidal... suicidal... suicidalll"...

I ate all dem beautiful gals, datz why i'm fat

Up next, we have the ever so fugly, manly looking, Fergie. She can't sing for nuts! Yeah, songs like "My Humps", "Fergilicious" and now... the stupid emo-freaky-sounding "Big Trannies Don't Cry" which... is also... over...played.. I mean seriously over-played..
Common, IT cannot sing, all it does is strip and dance around strutting its stuff.
What's London Bridge about? She talkin bout an archway her legs form and.. wait.. London Bridge doesn't have an archway to begin with!
You ain't got no talent MAN!

I shaved my facial hair off today. Aren't I Fergilicious?

Next, we have that emo bunch of goth heads known as My Chemical Romance (that went really wrong and that's why I'm so emo)
They're so gay and that song "I Don't Love You Like I Did Yesterday" gets on my nerves! Ack! Blinkin gay song, and the singer looks like a girl. There, i said it. You queer!
Come on, chant with me now... "Emo, Emo, Emo!"
Hope they cut their womanly wrists and die in a bathtub. Woot!

I like my make up. Don't you? Tee Hee!

Ahh, good to have that out of my chest. Let's all have a moment of silence, and pray that these forsaken songs mysteriously disappear from radio waves starting.... NOW!

Wart War

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Woah! Sanders... It's not what you think...

Dear Sanders,

Recently there has been much RUMOUR spreading around concerning a certain Fluffy's presence in the God forsaken hell-hole ruled by a PedoKing known better as Ronald McDonald.
I am here to clearly state that 'No! I did not...' Aw heck. Okay I DID go to MC D's... BUT it was a set up. They didn't tell me where we were heading. Next thing I know, my heart felt heavy, my palms started sweating... I could sense the evilness approaching. Then Dice said... "Hahaha! You're so dead tonight man!"....
I panicked... no worst! I was hysterical!!! How could they do this to me!? But it was happening... Everything was in slow-mo. I was dragged out of the car... Kicking, screaming, biting, clawing.. to no avail.
As my first foot stepped into the "Happy Meal Land"... it burned!!!! Oh, how it burned. They strapped me down onto the "Mc Chair" and asked me what I would have. I spat in their face and said "I'll have me a first class ticket outta here!"
But i was overpowered. I was forced to swallow this putrid cold creamy crap in which fellow MC D worshipers call "Mc Sundae". Then the one person who I thought understood me, gave me this weird smile. It was like she was possessed I tells ya! Cheryl said "Here baby... *hands over a fry to me* GASP!!! This wasn't happening, this isn't real... It was dammit!
I very reluctantly swallowed TWO Mc Fries... and half a MC Nugget... and consumed a whole Mc Choc Sundae...
It was the worst few hours of my life. Even watching Barney over and over again... Okay that would be just as bad. But you get my point!
I went back feeling ashamed.... raped. I was raped by the pedoking Ronald dickhead McDonald.
Soon, everywhere i went, i was greeted by strange smiles, welcoming me to their sick world of pedo-ness. I suffered a severe sore-throat because of what i consumed at that... that... place.
But I hereby declare that I, Fluffy The Humping Moose, am now recovering from the Psychological trauma I suffered. A few visits to the holy-land of KFC and my sins will be cleansed. I am going to go for a whole week without Snickers to make it up to Colonel Sanders the great. And mark my words.... The war is NOT over! Far from it...

Wart is this!?

Tues, 31 July, 2007, Puchong:- Loyal non-existent Humpathon readers may have been wondering upon Fluffy's sudden disappearance from the blogging world. The cause was just recently revealed by Fluffy himself during an interview session today. The reason was none other than an evil wart which decided to take residence beneath Fluffy's dead toe. Fluffy firmly believes that that toe is indeed cursed and has probably been a bad, bad toe in its past life.
"It brings me great pleasure to announce that my wart, will be falling off very very soon. I had it since my trip back to Penang, and i blame it on my Grandma's cooking. Due to this wretched wart, I have not been able to resume my blogging sessions. Yes, if you must know, I type with my toes. For those of you who haven't found out yet, I, Fluffy, have a dead toe. And under this very same dead toe, grew a wart. It caused me much pain and psychological trauma which I can only refer to as 'Psychological Rape' over the past month. However, thanks to Duofilm, the wart is now making its departure," said Fluffy earlier today.





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For those of you who are interested in purchasing Fluffy's soon-to-be-fallen wart, place your reservations today! Call 1800-I want Fluffy's Wart or e-mail us at humpingwart@wartsthathump.com
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