It's very likely that all of you have gone through the Sesame Street phase sometime during your childhood.
I remember the huge yella bird, Big Bird (got proof?), Snuffle wats-his-name (the tranny elephant), Count Dracula or smth,Kermit, and my personal fav, Cookie Monster! Mmmm cookies! Just a note, for those who are reading this, you have just willingly commited yourselves to buying me Famous Amos (no-nut) choc chip cookies.Pass it to me by hand, or deliver it to my house.
Back to the muppets, yeah, I'm okay with them. Teaching us how to count, pronounce words, how to appreciate cookies... how to TICKLE A RED FURRY ANNOYING (and dear Lord, i DO mean ANNOYING!) PEDO THAT FEEDS ON MONEY FROM UNSUSPECTING PARENTS.Elmo has unsuccesfully attempted to be more popular than his Sesame Street comrades. All that acting cute, being furry and having a gay ass voice... yeah, you'd think it would work. Behind all that innocent act, lies a cold hearted, still furry... ever wondered why Elmo's fur is red!?
"Can you tell me how to kill... how to kill those innocent kids?" sings Elmo
Just who IS buying all this Tickle-Me crap?? All Elmo wants is your childs' hands all over his furry red, blood soaked body as he satisfies his deprived needs. In your case, it could be your younger brother or sister. Bless their souls!
If you listen carefully to Elmo laughing, you can actually sense the palpable evil tone in it. Elmo is as unforgiving as ice-crusted ladder rungs.
Here's Elmo for you: Hahahaha Hehehehehe Hoahahahahehehehe DO IT AGAIN! Ahahahah HEhehehehehe DO IT AGAIN or else...! ahahahaha hehehehehehe hihihihihi KILL YOUR DOG ahahahahah hohohohohoho VIOLENCE IS GOOD hahahaha heheheheheh KILL, KILL, KILL hahahah heheeheheh CENTIPEDES ARE HEAVENLY CREATURES....
Here's a sweet song dedicated to Elmo: Well you think you hate Elmo's World
It must be crazy
Can't stand a tickle me Elmo
I'm not so lazy
Oh and if you really hate Elmo
I just wanna let you know
Yeah
Get rid of Elmo
And don't act funny
Get rid of Ernie
While using your knees
Get rid of Big Bird
You got your worst look
Tell me who can you hit with your elbows
Get rid of Elmo
You know that it's just a muppet
That's really stupid
You think that Elmo's really plain suck
He wasn't wicked
So if you really hate Elmo
I just wanna let you know
Get rid of Elmo
And don't act funny
Get rid of Ernie
While using your knees
Get rid of Big Bird
You got your worst look
So keep on hitting him with your Elbows
Get rid of Elmo
Yeah
Get rid of Elmo
Get rid
Yeah
Oh
Get rid
Get rid
Get rid
Get rid
Get rid
Get rid
Get rid
Get rid of ElmoYep, Elmo deserves to be decapitated, burnt, have his fur plucked out, dipped in acid, then hung on a tree, stretched till his joints come loose, then as he's screaming, take a blunt object and repeatedly hit his sorry excuse for a head. Bitchen!
Amresh to Elmo "I keel joo!"Question: How can YOU make a difference and reduce the Elmo population?
Answer: The next time you visit Toys "R" Us, and you see the red head, take him to a corner and rip him into pieces. Then blame it on the doll's poor quality and suggest that the product shouldn't be distributed anymore.
This is the truth
La la la la
Elmo sucks
La la la la La la la la
Elmo sucks
He's over-marketed
And boring too--
Yes, Elmo sucks!
Many things on God's Green Earth, even words can't describe. Food, for instance! Hmm, naw come to think of it, you actually can describe food.... shucks. I just wanted to sound smart..
Where was I? Ah yes, food. I'm a fooda-holic. I eat, and eat, and eat.... and eat more. One of my fav victims of my hunger is none other than Pizza! Be it Dominoes, Pizza Hutt or Canadian Pizza (didn't mention other branches for obvious reasons), Pizza is plain yummeh!That topping, with chunks of chicken, green pepper, onions... tomato paste.. okay, brb, imma grab smth to eat.* back *
Ah yeah, so imagine biting into that slice of pizza. Sinking your teeth into it... enjoying the fusion of tastes that explode in your mouth... UNTIL A STUPID UNINVITED YELLOW SQUISHY THINGY jumps in too!
Yesh, this forsaken yellow fruit is none other than a stinkin pineapple!
You see, the pizza was fine without 'em. But some wise ass had to come up with what they call the "Aloha" Pizza... which simply refers to a pizza which is filled with nothing but pineapple. Boiled, squishy, sweet, sickly yellow pineapple... Let's be rational... why add pineapples? Pizza is fine without fruits making an appearance on top of it. What next? Peas on pizzas? Raisins? Eeew, omg the very thought of it.
Even Arnold agrees with me on this one. Arnold on pizza: "If you want something krazy like pineapple, I KILL YOU!"
So, the next time you're ordering pizza, tell the school-drop out dude on the line: "No pineapples please! Tak mau nanas!No pls!" And if he comes with a pizza with an EXTRA topping of pineapples, just throw it in his face.
Aloha Pizzas are not even really pizzas anyway. Pizzas are not made to have fruits laid on them!!!
Other valid reasons to despise pineapples:
1.) They are often used as capital punishment instruments. The guy sentenced on deathrow will be blindfolded, then left standing naked tied to a pole. The janitors will then all have 5 shots each at him using pineapples... Ouch.
2.) You wouldn't wanna eat Spongebob's house now, would you? WOULD YOU!?
3.) Pineapples are made up of Pine Trees and Apples... Save the trees! Don't eat pineapples.
4.) Do you find pineapple flavoured Shisha? No, you don't. Shuddup
5.) It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Pineapple.
Amresh to Pineapple: "I keel joo!"I'm positive that with all the facts provided above, you will make the right choice and join the "Punch Pineapples Please Posse" or widely known as the 4P.
Call 1-800-Pineapples?-Phooey! or visit your nearest pizza outlet and empty the tray containing pineapples. (Instant membership for these people)
May the hatred for pineapples be with you.
The only thing that pineapples look good on
Raisins... Why raisins? Leave the poor ol grape alone. Grapes are sexay. But when they "morph" into shrivelled up miniature prunes, which are HAZARDOUS to humans, mind you...
They taste disgustingly sourish and... poopy. Heck, they even look like deer poop. Or rat poo. Poo in general ok?
Since it's birth in Israel in 500 BC, raisins have since plagued the entire world.
They've conquered "Cerea-Land" and you can spot them hiding not-so-innocently between the cornflakes.
Even Anus the Great, (now known as Famous Amos) was not spared. His deliciously yummy, crunchy... NOW RAISIN infested cookies have caused his empire to perish.
Compare grapes to raisins... Grapes are such perteh fruits. They come in green, purple, red... then there's raisins! The Outcast if the Grape Vine. Turds of the vine.
Another reason to hate raisins, is it's utmost resemblance to a dead/alive... bug.
Take a look...
A bunch of ticks having an orgy
A raisin
UH HUH! Fooled ya didnt I!? I knew it!
Other valid reasons to despise raisins:
1.) raisins are just rabbit-breeders making that last bit of coin on the consumers' gullibility.
2.) raisins can be used as bullets thus, promotes violence
3.) you may trip over a raisin and break your back bone
4.) Raisins contain nicotine
5.) Raisins are boy band's official snack
6.) Raisins kill your dog. (dog owners, take note. TRUE!!!)
7.) Your annoying nephew can choke on a raisin and die. Hey!.. hmm....
Okay here's the song part.
Oh raisins, they look like poo.
People hate them, i do too.
Let's burn them all, spare the grapes,
Uhm... raisins cause date rapes?
True Story: One time, like this raisin thingy, like fell from a plane. And then it like, it hit a little Kazakhstani boy, and he like... cried! Dude!
Conclusion: Raisins KILL! They only "rais" problems and "rais" deaths... So lets "e-rais" Raisins from the surface of God's Green Earth!
JOIN ME IN THIS COMBAT! RAISINS MAY COVER THE SUN, FILLING THE SKY, BUT WE WILL DESTROY THEM IN THE SHADE THEN! FOR SPARTAAAAA!!!!!! .. okay sorry... too much 300 influence.
Leonidas pawns! (and doesn't eat raisins)
p.s: Join the "Rawr! Rape Raisins!" Club this very instant! Yes, NOW you moron. Before it's too late. Call 1-800-raisins-r-retards or visit www.raisins?riiiiight.com
Besides those annoying centipedes, another thing that servers no purpose here on Earth... are PEAS!!!
Who, in their right state of mind, would like to eat peas!? The thing is, it's everywhere! In your fried rice, with your salad, heck, they even have Pea flavoured Keropok!
Peas are just plain nasty. Mushy lil green stuff that has an awful taste. Anything with peas in it, isn't worth eating.
Here's a story which should give you another reason on why you shouldn't eat peas. There was this female TV presenter aight. And she was tasting a dish that had loads of peas in it. She was asked what she thought of the dish. It was delicious to her apparently, cause she said "I like the taste of pea-ness" outloud... Infront of national tv... There you have it! Peas are causing nothing but trouble and misery to everyone who has anything to do with it!
Of all the veggies that exist... why would you choose peas? Brocolli's rule by the way. Yeh. uh huh! In your face, Peas! Sure, you may have an international band with your name in like Black Eyed Peas... so what!? The Green Brocolli Boys are also a hit in the music industry! Well, maybe not just yet.. But anywway..
Ah found one! How can you beat Korn eh!? They're named after a veggie too. And it's a much more tastier one. There's sweet corn, there's pop corn... You don't hear nothing bout Sweet Peas (except in Popeye) or Pop Peas do ya? No? HUH!?
Than it's settled! Peas are just a mistake in this world! A mutant! An uninvited guest! Pack your bags, gather your centipede, pineapple, raisin and black pepper gang and get the hell out! Oh no... don't you try givin' me that sad face...
SCRAM!
Here's a song dedicated to peas all over the world. (They're everywhere!) Not for long... Muahahaha!
I hate peas. I hate peas.
Don't feed me peas. Don't feed me peas.
Peas on a plate make me weak in my knees.
As they near my mouth my lips start to freeze.
I prefer that you give me some chocolate, please.
'Cause I hate peas. I hate peas.
By the way, if you wanna join the "Provide Pain to Peas Posse", and rid of this forsaken so-called veggies.. Call 1800-Peas-Suck today!
AND yes, of course you'll get smth free you darn cheapskates...
A Sexy "I Hate Peas" Tee awaits new members. Parade around your neighbourhood proudly with this awesome tee-shirt!
Call and join us NOW!!!
(while stocks last)
well, can't say i'm surprised. I expected it to be lame, and lame it was. Maybe lame is too much of a compliment for this movie.
Ooooh, ghost rider! Nicholas Cage! Eva Mendes! Cool Bike! Marvel! bleh... all that hype for nothing.
Nicholas Cage sold his soul to this dude called Metamorphosizzle or smth and in return his dad got to live for one extra day. Aww.. Then Johnny Blaze (nicholas cage) had to be Metamorphosizzle's bitch for eternity. Anytime Mr M (his name is too long to keep being mentioned) felt threatened, he would call upon Gross Rider to help him.
There were 4 villains who i think even a drunk midget could've pawned. One was Mr. M's son, and the rest were dudes who were based on the elements. Air, Earth and Wind. Let's put it this way, they all died of boredom cause of Johnny Blaze a.k.a Gross Rider. He would walk towards them... point his skinny finger at 'em and say... "You! Got Milk?"
and they would all just perish.
No, but honestly, the lines were freaking tacky. "Look into my eyes... blah blah blah" And when Mr. M's son finally got the contract of souls thingy, he said "I am Legion! For i am many..." .... what...? Duhhhh....
The only highlight(s) of the movie was Eva Mendes...'s twins. Not her, she has that distracting mole. And ahh fine.. the graphics were good too. But with such lame lines, it screwed up the whole movie.
For those of you who haven't watched Gross Rider, don't bother. Save your money and watch Epic Movie instead which i heard was awesome. Seen it anyone?
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