Tiger Abuse at A-Famosa

By now, you should already know that Malaysia is synonymous with "animal abuse" among other words which is simply far too long (and perhaps, controversial) to list right now.

Besides the third-world manner of dealing with strays - shoving a stick down a dog's throat, tying it up and leaving it do die in its own feces OR organizing a fun activity like "Hunt the Stray & win $$", we've also gotta realize another lingering problem... the abuse of animals for the entertainment of others and just to make a little extra cash.

Places like Zoo Negara are meant to educate the young and old alike on wildlife - from their habits, to what they eat, to their names and blah blah blah. But unlike other countries that make this their priority, we're obviously more focused on the monetary aspect that places like this can provide. Just visit the Zoo and you'll see the pathetic conditions the animals live in, not to mention how malnourished they look. And I think this report by a reporter from Al Jazeera English ought to shock you: Wildlife for sale at Malaysian zoos

Recently, this video of a tiger being abused in A-Famosa has been going around. You can watch it HERE.

Now, this has caused quite a stir among animal activists here in Malaysia, and it's slowly creeping its way internationally too (YAY!). What any regular human being with half a brain sees is a heavily drugged tiger getting its slapped around, having its whiskers pulled and treated in an overall careless manner just for people to stupidly step up, pay RM 15 and have their picture taken with a half-dead tiger.

But when the officials of A-Famosa were questioned about this, they responded with what can possibly be described as the dumbest, most intellectually-challenged response ever.
"The tiger is just lazy..." More specifically, here's the entire e-mail response given by a certain Eric Ong who's from Marketing at A-Famosa.

Dear DewGem,
Warmest Greetings From A'Famosa Resort

We're referring to your e-mail on regards of the video shared on www.youtube.com

We would like make things clear that we never druged any of the animal for entertainment sake. The tiger shown in the video was just merely lazy and it's was (awesome grammar Eric) their nature to do so. We pratice a standard level in handling the animals.

However, rest assure that we had stop the photography session with the tigers due to the public & management concern of the tigers welfare. We appreciated your feedback which had been forwarded to management for their action to be taken.

Thank You.
Eric Ong.

(This e-mail was sent to "DewGem" whose real identity I'm not sure of, but all I can say is I truly value his/her taking concern in this matter and taking the trouble to send an e-mail to Eric. My e-mail was a little more harsh, so no response expected from Eric there.)
HAHAHA! Their nature to do so? Mister Eric here has obviously not subscribed to Animal Planet, or this certain attribute called "common sense" for that matter.

The fellas from A-Famosa also sent an e-mail to another concerned member of the public (whose name is kept private for obvious reasons) saying:

Warmest Greetings From A'Famosa Resort

We're referring to your e-mail on regards of the said video.
We would like to inform that the photography session had been removed since a few months ago due to the concern by the managment of the animal welfare.
We appreciated your feedback and hope that you have a nice day.

Thank You.
Eric Ong

As for now, I've no evidence if what they're saying is true. For all the latest updates on this inhumane issue, you can follow the "Stop Animal Abuse at A-Famosa" Facebook group.

If you feel strongly about this issue too, I suggest you don't retain the "Oh, what can we do? Our country is such. Maybe if I just ignore it, it'll go away" attitude. Instead, voice out your rage. Contact the necessary people.

CONTACTS:
For starters, here are some of the folks from A-Famosa itself.

eric.marketing@afamosa.com
ping.marketing@afamosa.com
kelly.tt@afamosa.com

You can also add the nice folks at A-Famosa on their Facebook page. Feel free to flood the page with cries of anger, complaints and videos of the abuse.

Alternatively, you could visit WWF Malaysia's website. (Personally, I'd say that's wishful thinking) But they ARE having a competition in which 5 celebrities compete for the title of WWF-Malaysia’s Tx2 Tiger Ambassador.We could certainly make full use of that. Or you could flood the WWF Facebook page. That should work too.

Next up, join the Malaysian Conservation Alliance for Tigers (MYCAT) on their Facebook page and voice out your concerns.

More methods of action (taken from Stop Animal Abuse at A'Famosa)

How to Take Action:
Here are some ways you can expose this injustice & drive for action from relevant authorities.

1. Spread the word:
Share this with as many people as possible. Post the link of this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5ACVn73YL0) on your Facebook Profile and ask your friends to join this Facebook Page on the latest: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Stop-Animal-Abuse-at-A-Famosa/125692030790253?v=app_2373072738

2. CALL the Wildlife Crime Hotline: 019-356-4194 to complain about the A'FAMOSA Tiger Abuse.

3. Write to the Chief Minister of Melaka; include the link to the video posted as the "Website" in this page. Urge him to take enforcement action on this irresponsible methods: alirustam@melaka.gov.my

4. Write to the PERHILITAN Director-General's office and urge for action to change A'Famosa's handling of wildlife:
E-mails: Dato' Abd. Rashid Samsudin rashid@wildlife.gov.my
pakp@wildlife.gov.my
Phone Numbers: http://bit.ly/9Xlg8c

5. Write to wildlife conservation NGOs to advocate for justice on behalf of the abused tigers. If this is how one tiger can be treated, imagine the other animals in the same safari at A'Famosa:

a) Malaysian Conservation Alliance of Tigers (MYCAT). This is a joint programme between Malaysian Nature Society (MNS), TRAFFIC South East Asia, WWF Malaysia, Wildlife Conservation Society (WCS):
Emails: malaysian_cat2003@yahoo.com / mycat@wildlife.gov.my
Tel: +6 (03) 9075 2872 ext 140
More details here: http://www.mns.org.my/artabout.php?aid=40

b) TRAFFIC Network on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/trafficnetwork
TRAFFIC South East Asia e-mail: tsea@po.jaring.my
Tel: +(603) 7880 3940

c) WWF Malaysia on FB: http://www.facebook.com/wwfmy
E-mail: contactus@wwf.org.my
Tel: +603 7803 3772

d) Malaysian Nature Society: http://www.mns.my/
Email: mns@mns.org.my
Tel: +603 - 2287 9422

6. Write to your local newspapers to investigate and write about this affront of wildlife treatment.

7. Call the local TV stations to run an expose on this abuse.


Do your part and make a change! Spread the word and do not let this sick issue remain unknown.

Damn Centipedes Have a Movie Now?!

Well... that's it. This is the end of Teh Moose.
It's been great knowing you guys. After countless years at war with those bastards... after posting up articles with empowering knowledge on how to end the life of centipedes... how they breed, how they act, their favorite hiding spots, how they make macho men like me scream like a little girl... I thought I had won. I had supporters, I had people thanking me for enlightening them on Terrorpedes and their meaningless existence. Some people were in it just for the cool anti-centipede t-shirts, but hey, I made people aware!
But now... they went to the one place that can fuck anyone up. They've gone to Hollywood.

I recently received news that they've made a movie. It's cleverly called 'The Human Centipede.'

I cannot express how freaked out I am, and I think this movie is placed right next to Twilight on my "HOLY-FUCK-I'M-NEVER-WATCHING-THIS" list. Below is the trailer (which I've not watched) so I really don't know how it is. I'm sorry, you guys carry on and watch it. I... I just can't.

The Human Centipede Trailer
I would've placed the player here if it weren't such a fat hoe that keeps blocking my page.

If they come up with 'The Human Raisin', 'The Human Pea... Man. Thingy" or 'The Human Pineapple' next... I swear. Someone up there (in Hollywood) hates me.

The Slut Song

ORIGINAL: 'The Earth Song' by the late Michael Jackson
PARODY: 'The Slut Song' by Teh Moose

Try to have the original song playing in the background or something so you can sing along to it. It's great family fun. Bring your parents, partners and younger siblings too. 

                         

Forget about marriage
Forget about kids
Forget about all the things
That you expected to gain...
Forget about dates
Why waste time
Forget about all the things
That you said was yours and hers...
Did you ever stop to notice
All the so-called college trips
Did you ever stop to notice
The lying sluts, the cheating whores!?

Aaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaah

What have you done to the world
Look what you've done
What about all the sex
That you pledged was only mine...
What about flowers and meals
Is there a time
What about all the dreams
That you said was yours and mine...
Did you ever stop to notice
All the men dead from whores
Did you ever stop to notice
The lying sluts, the cheating whores!?

Aaaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaaah

I used to have wet dreams
I used to glance under your skirt
Now I don't know where you’ve been
For all I know, you’ve got herpes

Aaaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaaaah
Aaaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaaaah

Hey, what about yesterday
(Forget about hoes)
What about the gifts
(Forget about hoes)
The heavens are falling down
(Forget about hoes)
I can't even breathe
(Forget about hoes)
What about the notes I made
(Forget about hoes)
Can't you feel my wound
(Forget about hoes)
What about self worth
(ooo,ooo)
It's your own loss
(Forget about hoes)
What about my big schlong
(What about it)
That has turned kingdoms to dust
(Forget about hoes)
Well, you look like an elephant
(Forget about hoes)
Yes, I’ve lost trust
(Forget about hoes)
You ride the short bus
(Forget about hoes)
I think you have crabs
(Forget about hoes)
What about my bacon sammich bish
(ooo, ooo)
Burnt despite my pleas
(Forget about hoes)
What about your ‘holy land’
(What about it)
Now it’s torn apart by 5 dicks
(Forget about hoes)
What about the other man
(Forget about hoes)
Can't we set him on fire
(Forget about hoes)
What about your dignity dying
(Forget about hoes)
Can't you hear them cry
(Forget about hoes)
Where did your parents go wrong
(ooo, ooo)
Someone tell me why
(Forget about hoes)
What about boobies
(Forget about hoes)
What about the lays
(Forget about hoes)
What about all their joy
(Forget about hoes)
Fuck it, I ain’t turning gay
(Forget about hoes)
Your face is a moon crater
(Forget about hoes)
Oh, look e-bay sent my inflatable doll
(Forget about hoes)
What about your death
(ooo, ooo)
Like I give a damn

I'm A Little Alco

ORIGINAL: 'I'm a Little Teapot' by GodKnowsWho
PARODY: 'I'm a Little Alco' by Teh Moose

I'm a little alco
Hand me my stout
Here is my belly
Here is my mouth
When I get all thirsty
Hear me shout
Tip the bottle over and pour it all out

I'm a very special drunkard
It's so, so true
Here's an example of what I can do
I can make my voice suddenly sound like Elvis
A little more drinks, and I’ll be dry humping your pelvis

I'm a little alco
Beers and stouts
Here is some money
Now hand me my stout!
When I get all drunk and high
I just shout
Tip me over and watch puke pour out

I'm a very special drinker
It's fucking true
Here's an example of what I can do
I can turn my bottle into a flute
But when I sometimes get too high, I think my phlegm is glue.

Kids and Porn

You know, I've decided that I'm gonna start posting random thoughts here.
LOOK! TITS!
How's that for starters?!

Anyhoe, work has been fun, but extremely draining, hence my sudden absence. I know, I know. Rumors have emerged that I ran off to the jungles of Sabah while shrieking Moose mating calls secretly hoping of finding that one true love. Those rumors were partially true. Only, replace mating calls with 'tranquilizer.' Yes, but due to work, I can't really mass produce blog posts like I used to. NO! Don't cut your wrists just yet (I take pride in pretending that I have hardcore followers here)

So, anyway. I was thinking... You guys watch Japanese porn, don't ya? Of course you do.
Well, don't.
I find it to be one of the most annoying types of adult entertainment out there.
Sure, Maria Ozawa and Rio are freakishly hot, but... seriously. Maria sounds like a puppy getting sodomized with a 9 inch cucumber and Rio... she's just plain hot, but that whole 'kawaii' act. That shit for real? I mean... is that really how they talk? With that squeaky, 'anime' like voice, with those weird pouts and... WHY DO THEY CENSOR JAP PORN?!
It's not like the guys have a fuckin 7 inch Johnson anyways. All you need is one tiny pixel, and you're done. But nooooo, they gotta chuck a whole big pixelated square covering everything.

And you know what? Kids these days are so fucking spoilt. Back then, we used to get our fix by watching... sigh.. still images. YES! Admit it! Unless you had an elder brother who hid his porn CD stash of 'Saving Ryan's Privates' and 'Luke Thighwalker' unsuccessfully, or you had parents who were in the 'experimenting' stage and were so certain that their doors had been built sound proof by Uncle Lim the contractor... Otherwise, you TOO secretly crept up to the PC strategically placed in the middle of the hall by your parents, used a pillow as a silencer for that stupid loud-ass Jaring connection and enjoyed an hour or two of nice, still images of naked women. But no.... kids these days have MTV, they have YouTube, they have a long list of streaming porn sites, they have torrents... I hate kids.

I walk into Toys "R" Us now, and I go "WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T THEY HAVE THAT WHEN I WAS A KID!??" ... Walkin around, head buried in their damn PSPs, spending the evenings at home watching Ben 10... Damn kids.

And you know what? Christina Hendricks is inhumanely hot.

I mean, look at those... eyes.