Diarrhea

Now, that hoe Rihanna keeps coming up with songs that simply annoy the living crap outta me. The latest song which is played 12,387 times a day is Disturbia by the one and only huge-ass "foreheaded" Rihanna. To make her song sound a little more appealing, here's the Humper's own version of her song.

Diarrhea - by Fluffy Teh Humper

What's wrong with it?
Why does it feel like this?
I'm going crazy now

No more gas in the rear..
Can't even get it started
Nothing heard, nothing released
Can't even speak about it
Out my butt out my head
Don't want to think about it
Feels like I'm going insane
Yeah

It's a thief in the night
To come and grab your butt
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the ass
It can control you
It's too close for comfort

Take off your undies and tights
We're in the toilet of wonder
Ain't gonna shit nice
Watch out, you might just soil yourself
Better poop twice
Your train of shit will be altered
So if you must faulter be wise
Your ass is in diarrhea
It's like the poop is too light
Diarrhea
Is it scaring you tonight
Your ass is in diarrhea
Ain't used to what you like
Diarrhea
Diarrhea

Damn bum be-dumb bum bum be-dumb bum
Damn bum be-dumb bum bum be-dumb bum

Damn bum be-dumb bum bum be-dumb bum

Damn bum be-dumb bum bum be-dumb bum

Shit splats on the wall
It's like they talkin' to me
Disconnectin' my undies
My fart sounds watery
I gotta it out
Or figure this shit out
It's too wet for comfort

It's a thief in the night
To come and grab your behind
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the ass
It can control you
My butt feels like a monster

Take off your undies and tights
We're in the toilet of wonder
Ain't gonna shit nice
Watch out, you might just soil yourself
Better poop twice
Your train of shit will be altered
So if you must faulter be wise
Your ass is in diarrhea
It's like the poop is too light
Diarrhea
Is it scaring you tonight
Your ass is in diarrhea
Ain't used to what you like
Diarrhea
Diarrhea

Damn bum be-dumb bum bum be-dumb bum
Damn bum be-dumb bum bum be-dumb bum

Damn bum be-dumb bum bum be-dumb bum

Damn bum be-dumb bum bum be-dumb bum

Release me from this curse I'm in
Trying to remain tame
But I'm struggling and wiggling
If you can go,oh,oh,oh, uh ho
I think I'm going to oh, oh, oh

Take off your undies and tights
We're in the toilet of wonder
Ain't gonna shit nice
Watch out, you might just soil yourself
Better poop twice
Your train of shit will be altered
So if you must faulter be wise
Your ass is in diarrhea
It's like the poop is too light
Diarrhea
Is it scaring you tonight
Your ass is in diarrhea
Ain't used to what you like
Diarrhea
Diarrhea

More reason why KFC's THE best

As you fellow Humpathon readers already know, KFC is THE way of life. Screw Ronald and his cult. Here's a recent news article on KFC which further proves why the land of Sanders is the place to be.
"Three women stood naked outside a Kentucky Fried Chicken store, calling on the fast food giant to improve its animal welfare standards.

Wearing nothing but Santa hats, the three "naked chicks'' held a banner for good taste which read: 'Make it a Merry Chickmas (Chickmas) and boycott KFC'. The three vegans, all aged in their 20s... " (source: news.com.au)

ENOUGH SAID!!! Which other fast food outlet has 3 hot chicks in their 20's standing naked outside of it for your viewing pleasure?

Yet another reason to love KFC. These aren't the ACTUAL pics on the article mentioned above, but they should give you a rough idea bout how naked chicks "protesting" against KFC look like. Don't thank me, Fluffy feels this is vital.



Look at that old man! (and well, any other guy you see in the pic...) See how happy they are? Now you don't get this kinda service at Mc D's dontcha?
I rest my case.

Read em' Gramps!

You know you're gettin too old when...

You go to this hair saloon that you've been visiting for 4 years, and they always provide you with FHM mags to read, but all of a sudden on your latest visit... They give you copies of The Off Edge and Expatriate magazine for your "reading pleasure"...

Of Caffeine and Spelling

At a recent visit to Oldtown Kopitiam, this was found on their order sh.. I mean order chit.


(click to enlarge) ... the picture! Don't get your hopes too high.

Farts in Heaven

Well whaddya know?! Fluffy's college life is officially over. (Unless you count the internship as part of college.. but there's no more studies, so there!)
Woot! More time to blog you say? Very unlikely. Internship starts next week. Flying fudge. That's a pickle in my Chocolate Sundae..

Anyhoo! Here is a parody of the song "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton, done by teh Humper himself. Unlike the original version,this one is about a father and his son, who had such a bond. They used to fart together all the time, in cinemas... on the dog's face while it's asleep... in the bath tub then laugh at the bubbles that appear... But one day, while trying to fart on the balcony at an unsuspecting crow, the boy fell to his death... This is the song by his father to him... * wipes tear *

Farts in Heaven - by Fluffy Teh Humper

Would you know my name
If I farted in heaven
Will it smell the same
If I farted in heaven
I must be strong, and fart for long
Cause I know my farts don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I farted in heaven
Would you help me breathe
If I farted in heaven
I'll find a way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't fart
Here in heaven

Farts can bring you down
Farts can bend your knee
Farts can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please (fart moreeee)

(instrumental farts)

Beyond the toilet door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
Farts in heaven

Would you know my name
If I farted in heaven
Will it smell the same
If I let one rip in heaven
I must be strong, and fart for long
Cause I know my farts don't belong
Here in heaven

Cause I know my farts don't belong
Here in heaven...